Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
― Vladimir Bartol
During much of our lives, we are unknown to ourselves and unknown to each other. At times, miscommunication abounds and even lives on within us. We can be tasked with confounding circumstances and feelings, such as betrayal, despair, loss, and disappointment; inexplicable, maladaptive behaviors; and repeating scenarios in relationships that we would do anything to avoid, yet somehow continue to repeat. Sometimes, we are simply bothered by something on the tip of our tongue; we can’t figure out what it is but it also won’t go away—and all of life starts to take on its shade.
Popular labels for these things—anxiety, depression, compulsions—are not always accurate, and in some cases not that helpful. Your experience of anxiety, in the rich context of your life, may differ greatly someone else’s. Your needs in a relationship may be different than your partner’s. In actual problems of living, things like depression, trauma, grief, and anxiety tend to blend together in subtle ways. This shows why individual counselling approaches are not adequate. Ultimately, they say little about who you are and what you need. While on occasion they can be the right tool for the job, they can also lead to short-sighted dead-ends. Working with problems of living requires a highly flexible approach with someone you trust.
Who do we want to be now is always somewhat of an open question. Who do we want to become?— is similarly open-ended. Taking the time to slow down and witness what is happening can present us with new choices, insights, and emotions. Someone to help us slow down, re-examine our feelings, differentiate important aspects of our experience, and take the required space to carefully notice what’s happening can be essential. Someone that can act as a mirror for us can help too. There can be parts of us that need some time to catch up. We may have gotten used to things and forgotten that they can be different, or even identified ourselves with them. At other times, we simply need get out of our own heads and out of our own way.
To put it simply, my approach to counselling really depends on your needs. I like learning new tools and working from different perspectives, but what to do and where to go emerges from our work together. Our relationship and the intention we bring to it does much of the healing work. Letting me into your world is a gift. To do it justice, I prepare myself to go on an odyssey with you. Sometimes, an adventure into the unknown is what it takes.